So today at work I was thinking about attending the Reaching Out Conference in LA in a couple of weeks. Just to get you caught up it's a conference for LGBT MBA Students and Professionals with some pre-MBA students (me and 10 others) sprinkled in there. Let me not forget that there will be LGBT Allies there as well! :-)
In any event, I was sitting at my desk and logged into my google analytics to see the types of things people were searching for on Google and how they found my site. Today someone typed in "how to tell business school lgbt" and this simple query reminded me that yes there are other LGBT students going through this process and I will only speak for myself in saying that it's very interesting.
So back in August when I was writing my first drafts for my Tuck application I was answering the question "What's the hardest thing you've had to overcome and how did you overcome it?" Something to that effect. So for that initial essay I wrote about how the hardest thing for me was coming out to my mother. I thought it was a great first draft for that essay. Then my consultant responded with very good constructive criticism essentially saying "What separates your story from all of the other coming out stories? Was this really the toughest thing you've had to overcome?" I don't think she meant it as "yeah right this is not the hardest thing you've had to overcome." but more along the lines of..."this is a common story!"
So then I will admit I got defensive internally thinking "of course it was the hardest thing! who cares if it's a common story? it's MY story and it was hard!!!" lol... yeah that's how I talk to myself in my head. So fast forward to today. I've learned a lot in the short weeks since that essay review discussion. I now know that the hardest thing for me was not coming out to my mom (Hi Mom... cuz I know she's reading this blog right now). I have honed in on what the hardest part of coming out was and that's what I will write about going forward. (Sorry... too much competition out there right now for me to "give" my story or ideas away).
I had a friend ask me the other day, "Why are you doing so much research into the LGBT climate at these schools? Everyone at the schools is an adult and will treat you just fine." For me, it's not necessarily about being treated fine, but in order to understand why I take the LGBT culture so seriously is because living in NYC... it's a part of my everyday life. Of course it doesn't have to be and trust me I would be comfortable at a school where I was the only LGBT student. Let me take a step back though and give you some insight into my reality here everyday in NYC. Yeah, I'm gonna pull the NYC card - BAM!
1. So... my roommate is gay,
2. I work for a Luxury Retail heavily invested in Fashion so by default I work with maybe 80% women, and of the 20% men 80% of us are gay. So if the company had 100 people, 80 would be women, 16 would be gay men, and 4 would be straight men. Needless to say there are a lot of shall we say...conversations about peep toe shoes and shopping and not so much about Monday night football. ;-)
3. 95% of my male friends here in the city are gay, so when we go out where do you think we go?
4. Then I come home and I'm around my roommate again...
I can and have gone a week without talking to a straight male. Not by choice, but in retrospect, that's just the way it's happened. I'm not saying whether its good or bad to be in said environment, but it's just the way it is. Am I looking forward to changing that environment? Most definitely! I've done NYC and I may or may not be back here for the rest of my life post-mba, so I'm definitely looking forward to leaving for a bit.
With that being said, the reason I look into the LGBT cultures at each school is simple. While I can bond with anyone it's just nice to have some people you can turn to/ talk to/ or just give a glance too and they understand what you're thinking and have been through what you've been through. Don't get me wrong I haven't been through anything that I know a lot of other people have. I don't think it's tough to explain, but I think people understand what I'm trying to say.
Think of it this way... let's say you played football your whole life from Pop Warner up until College. Then you go to business school. When you watch the Superbowl, you just want at least one other person in the room who also played football and knows why you may be yelling at the TV when the referee blows the whistle! Sure, there will be some people in the room who played soccer or basketball their whole lives and love sports too... but they may not get IT. Of course you'll still have a great time but it may have been better with that other football player in the room. That's the best analogy I can make guys haha...
I think it may also be a lot of my prior thinking that B-school was a bunch of type A I-bankers, and having that stereotype becoming a factor in determining where to go to school. But, had I not had that mentality when I started researching schools, I would have never gotten to the place I am in now where I know that THAT is not the case. B-school has a myriad of people most of whom don't even care about ones sexuality. I got that sense when I visited Yale, Dartmouth, and NYU.
Also, at any school I attend I plan to have an active role in the LGBT club on campus. If there isn't one then it's not so much that I couldn't start one, because I could, but not having one would give me a sense of the types of students that are at the school. I don't think (I could be proven wrong) that a school with no LGBT club would be the right school for me. I have also heard stories about people not feeling comfortable in b-school being out, which hey to each his or her own, but I can't fathom being in an environment like that. Don't get me wrong. I don't go around carrying a purse and dressing in drag although I have friends who do and let me say that they are looking forward to Halloween! It's funny when real women are asking gay men in drag "omg who did your make-up it's better than mine!" Only to have the guy give her a nasty look like "How dare you even ask such a thing? I did it myself!"
I won't even touch the prospect of dating someone in business school... lmao... I'm sure that's an issue in and of itself! Not to mention there's probably no time for it!
I'm not asking for there to be 40 LGBT club members all wearing rainbow flags on their backpacks, because A) that's overwhelming...too many colors all over the place B) it's not sincere. But, an LGBT presence on campus says a lot to me about the school itself and the students. If anyone thinks differently I'd be glad to hear your opinion, but you won't change mine. Not on this! Ok maybe you can...but probably not! I'm stubborn (I'm a Taurus and an only child) so even if I think you may have a point I'll spin it so that you don't. I should have been a lawyer but you all know how I LOVE THE LSAT! lmao... ok now I'm rambling!
I am SOOOO looking forward to this conference though! ;-)
Here are some resources that I've found this past year and I'd like to share them with anyone willing to click on them. This is exactly the type of post that I was looking for when I was starting this business school process.
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